Just a PART of you

Let me explain a little about the "A-The Part of You" and "Part of You - Not You" approach in therapy.

For me, it is a genuine approach towards my clients due to the amount of experience I have witnessed in others and lived myself. As a child I was often referred as the "black sheep", the problematic one hence having a clean record at school and being quite self-sufficient (as I had no other choice than to act like the adult since the age of 8). I deeply remember how I felt like I was bad (I was the problem), little did I know as I child that it was not the case back then. 

I strongly believe each individual is not the problem, however there are PARTS of us, that need attention. There are parts of us that may disagree and agree, parts of us that like and dislike, parts of us that attract and repel... and yet we can be and become whole. 

The "Part of You - Not You" approach in therapy is a therapeutic perspective that views certain thoughts, feelings, or behaviors as distinct aspects or "parts" of an individual's psyche, rather than inherent qualities of the person as a whole. This approach is rooted in the belief that individuals have multiple internal selves or subpersonalities that influence their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

In the "Part of You - Not You" perspective, problematic thoughts, feelings, or behaviors are externalized and treated as separate entities from the individual's core sense of self. For example, rather than saying "I am anxious," a client might say "There's a part of me that feels anxious." This subtle shift in language acknowledges that the anxiety is not the entirety of the person's identity but rather a specific aspect or "part" of them.

The therapist helps the client explore and understand these different parts of themselves by facilitating a dialogue or exploration between the client and the identified aspect. Through this process, clients can gain insight into the underlying motivations, beliefs, and needs driving the problematic part. They can also begin to develop a more compassionate and curious stance towards these aspects, rather than being overwhelmed or controlled by them. For example, a client might describe feeling overwhelmed by self-critical thoughts, which they then label as their "inner critic" or "judgmental voice."

Once the client has identified and externalized the problematic aspect of themselves, the therapist can facilitate a dialogue or exploration between the client and this part. This might involve asking questions such as:

- What does this part of you want you to know?

- How does this part of you feel about you?

- What function or purpose does this part serve?

- What would this part of you say if it could speak?

Through this process of externalization and dialogue, clients can gain insight into the underlying motivations, beliefs, and needs driving the identified aspect of themselves. They can also begin to develop a more compassionate and curious stance towards these aspects, rather than being overwhelmed or controlled by them.

The "Part of You - Not You" approach can be particularly helpful for individuals struggling with internal conflict, self-criticism, or ambivalence. By recognizing and engaging with different parts of themselves, clients can work towards greater self-awareness, integration, and psychological well-being. This approach also aligns with the broader goal of IFS therapy, which is to help clients achieve harmony and balance among their internal selves, leading to greater overall health and well-being.